Bunbuku’s Teakettle

(♪) From ages long past, people have known about the wily old raccoons who sometimes disguise themselves as people. Our story is a comical tale about one of those wily old raccoons, a most clever one, and some monks who were tea-servers for a nobleman.

(♪) Long, long ago, there lived a monk called Bunbuku in the service of Lord Higashiyama. One fine autumn day, Bunbuku took a walk over hill and dale just for the pleasure of it. Along the way he happened to spot down in a valley an old raccoon practicing his quick-change techniques of disguising himself as this, or that, or something else. Bunbuku: “Oh, that fellow is really good! I’m going to catch him one way or another.”

Right-side:

(♪) Bunbuku worked out a plan. With a swish he covered his head with a short coat and began to move in the slow, riveting motions of a kabuki dance. “Ahh! Hyokkori, hyokkori!” went the rhythm of the dance. The old raccoon began to dance, too. “Ahh! Hyokkori, hyokkori!” he echoed. Just then, when the old raccoon was off his guard, Bunbuku grabbed him. “Aha! I’ve got you!” he cried, taking the old raccoon alive.

Left-side:

(♪) When Bunbuku got back to the lord’s mansion, the other tea monks, Buntoku, Fukuami, and Bunsai, were happily drinking sake and were feeling mellow. Fukuami: “Oh, Bunbuku, it’s you. How was your walk over hill and dale on this autumn day?” Bunbuku: “Well, actually, I have something better to tell you. Look at what I caught! It’s a raccoon. What do you say to some raccoon soup tonight with plenty of sake?” Bunsai: “Well, well. You have caught us a nice tidbit to go with our sake. Very good.

Right-side:

(♪) The four tea monks immediately began to prepare the raccoon soup.Bunbuku: “All right, now, where shall I begin cutting? At the ears?” Bunsai: “No, no. Let’s start by cutting off his tail.” Buntoku: “Wait! Wait! First, get the knife sharpened properly.” Fukuami: “My word, this is one whopping big raccoon!”

Left-side:

(♪) The raccoon pretended to be dead on the chopping board. But when he heard the monks talking, he was so startled that he jumped up and ran off. “Hey! He is running away!” The four tea monks took up sticks, and tucking up the backs of their kimono, they chased the raccoon down to a grassy spot. Four Tea Monks: “Oh my goodness, how amazing! The raccoon has turned into a teakettle!” Bunsai: “All right, then. What do you say we bring the kettle back and boil some water.”

Right-side:

(♪) The raccoon thought he had disguised himself cleverly. But placed over the fire, he could not bear the heat. The fire got hotter and hotter. “Aggg! Ouch!” he cried, and he started to turn back into a raccoon. Fukuami: “Look! Bunbuku’s teakettle is growing fur!”

Left-side:

(♪) The monks were vastly amused to see the teakettle beginning to sprout fur. Four Tea Monks: “Bunbuku’s kettle is growing fur, is growing fur! Bunbuku’s kettle is growing fur!” The raccoon heard them and became very cross. Raccoon: “Of course I’m growing fur, you dummies! I’m a raccoon. I’ve had enough of this place. It’s back to the hills with me.”

Right-side:

(♪) Well, pretty soon Lord Higashiyama heard about how the raccoon tricked the four tea monks. Lord Higashiyama declared, “Tricked by a raccoon! What fools you are! You shall be put out of my mansion stark naked!” With no place to go, the four monks shivered in the field while the autumn wind blew around them. Presently they drifted off and slept.

Left-side:

Then, appearing out of nowhere, the old raccoon came back. A mischievous idea crept into his mind. Raccoon said, “Look, you monks, you’ll be plenty warm if we do this, no?” And he stretched out the skin of his private parts and wrapped them up in it. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but some people say a raccoon could stretch the skin of his genitalia so much that it would cover 8 tatami mats. The four tea monks were comfortable enough, though they were still sleepy and something felt a little strange. And there was an odd smell . . .

(♪) When morning came the monks woke up at last. There was the raccoon right in front of them. They caught him with no trouble and presented him to Lord Higashiyama. The four monks said, “We beg to inform your Lordship that after much difficulty, we finally caught the mischievous raccoon and we have brought him to you.” Lord Higashiyama said, “You have done well. I will make sure you are rewarded.” So our story ends happily, for everyone except the mischievous old raccoon. Doesn’t he look miserable? That's the end of the story. Did yoy enjoy that?